Rise & Whine

[Foggy]

I have given out my address a couple of times in the past week so I thought I would post it again for all the world to see.


Jason Daniel Hayden
240 Hyde Street #308
San Francisco, CA 94102


I still like getting postcards and money. Stocks and bonds not so much.

Speaking of postcards, I haven't been able to do any type of cards (birthday, greeting, and holiday) for almost a year now, just don't have the money for it. I've missed a lot of birthdays.

Not that anyone here is likely to do so, but don't drop by unannounced. My neighborhood isn't exactly safe. It's not really unsafe, sort of in between. Also it would be nice if I showered for company.

[akennett]

Glad I checked the boards in-flight. I'll tell the pilot to turn around...

[Foggy]

Every since I moved out on my own back in late March, it has been getting more difficult each month to get by on my disability by myself. Add to that the cuts to SSI made since May and it has gotten worse. In April, I received $927, by November it was down to $865, a difference of $62 a month. It hurts. In July my bus pass went from $10 to $15. In January it will go to $20. Also in January, I will start paying a small fee for my medications. With my currant prescriptions that will be about $13 a month, give or take. And lastly there will be no COLA in January.

So I’m going to try going back to work. I will be signing up for a job training program to be a janitor. It’s been over 15 years since I last held a paying job and over 4 years since I last volunteered at anything. At this point I don’t know when I’ll start or if I’ll get paid for the training.

So I sent an email to some friends asking for money. This should be intersting

[Foggy]

Since I'm planning on being a janitor; how do you mix bleach and ammonia?

[Penquin47]

You don't.

[Foggy]

Where is the fun in that?

[Surgoshan]

The not dying part is always the fun bit for me.

[FlopperTopper]

I know someone that did that mix accidentaly. You really have to read the fine print on those home cleaning products. It's an excruciatingly painful thing to do. Fortunately it wasn't enough to be lethal.

[bbs2k]

I got your card today Foggy. I owe you one back now.

[Foggy]

My rent goes up in Feb by $21.
I wasn't in a good mood on Saturday and then to get the rent notice didn't help it at all.

The job training may not pay as much as I thought/hope or last very long.

I'm thinking of selling the computer and doing without one.
I like having a computer, but it's not something I NEED.

I should know more about the job training in the next 2-3 weeks.


too much stupid stuff

[Catzpjs]

Keep the computer, Foggy. We need to hear from you.

[bbs2k]

I agree with dearest Catz, for two reasons. First and most importantly we love keeping in touch. Second, not to be a downer, but I don't think there is really any market for used PCs.

Keep us up to date on the job training. This is me in anticipation ->

[Foggy]

lonely & bored
xmas cards to do, but not in the mood
printer's out of ink
nosiey neigbors
blah

[Foggy]

I am tired of this struggle. I don’t see how I can endure it much longer. I don’t wish to see my 50th birthday. I just want an end to it all. That’s all I have to say anymore.

[Surgoshan]

*hug*

[delta blues]

shit.

got a spare bedroom. dogs. little town, lib, hosp, whatever, within a few blocks.

on disability, moody, small northern cold town. gonna be some homophobia.

box 684, someone here can tell you the town. 59645, i believe, lemme check.

yeah, thats the zip. wanna split utils, sokay with me, just don't put the moves on me. ain't no house payment, don't need to worry bout no rent.

if ya want. senior center, whatever, could always use volunteers if you get up to it.

nah, don't worry whoever, just registered to tell him this, ain't gonna start posting.

rino delta blues

[Foggy]

rino delta blues

Thanks for the offer, but I just as soon stay here. It's near things I need.

I'll drop you a postcard as soon as I can.

[Foggy]

I’ve gotten sloppy about my meds. I haven’t taken my mourning meds in 2.5 days, just laziness. Apparently Cymbalta has withdrawal effects too. I’m feeling really shitty right now. I know better, but I’m tied of taking meds, especially since they seem to do very little. I haven’t been to group or my therapist in a month, and I really don’t want to see my psychiatrist next week. I’m tired of talking too. None of it seems to make any difference.

I’m still waiting to hear about the job training. I called them on Tuesday, but still nothing. My rent goes up on the first. I can’t get a job on my own, I need their help.

So tired of it all.

[Luvsadawg]

That's the real problem with depression. The more you need the help the less you reach out for it. I'm feeling for you, Jason. I've been there - and its not a good place to be.

[delta blues]

no worries.

luck to ya.

get yer address, send a little back.

too, know how it is.

db

[Surgoshan]

Foggy, I'm an asshole. I'm frequently a drunken asshole. Even when sober I'm aware that what I want to say is entirely the wrong thing to say. Thus my options tend to boil down to "Oh My God Don't Say That" or "..." I say nothing.

That said, I feel confident in saying this.

You're a sweetheart.

You're more than just a sweetheart, you're a fucking wonderful human being, and you make the world a better place by existing.

I know this because I have a couple of cards from you that I received on holidays that ordinarily don't deserve cards.

I don't know about the 6 billion other people on the planet, but you've made my life better. I've woken up, looked at the card pinned to my wall, and I've smiled. Because of you.

I absolutely cannot tell you whether your life will, for you, be worth living tomorrow.

I can tell you that, today, my life was better because you were in it.

And if you give me your address I will mail you a hug.

John AKA "Surgo"

[RebelK]

Better be careful there Surgo. People will start to think you are actually a nice guy with a soft heart.

[Surgoshan]

Are you calling me fat?

[Foggy]

Thanks Surgoshan.

My address is in the OP.
Be sure to use bubble wrap.

[Foggy]

I put coffee syrup on my Cap'n Crunch and made it into Cap'n Chino!

Get it?!
I kill myself!
Well someday.