Over the years, I've met a few schoolteachers who absolutely did not impress me with their ability to spell, write a coherent sentence, or do simple math. How can a person graduate from college without these abilities?

So, at work yesterday, I needed to look up a destination's address. I used Google. The place that we're supposed to take the passengers is a charter school in a Dallas suburb.

On their website, there were various "ratings" of this school, with comments from people who chose to do the ratings. I copied this one direct from the website:

cite: My daugther has went to Life School Lancaster for three the day they open Shakayera was there. I love the school it is the best school for my daughter I love the teachers as well as the staff. I am also a teacher for Head Starrt and want only the best for my cbild and this school is the best for her.

I suppose I could overlook an obvious typo or three (daugther, cbild, Starrt). But the sentence structure! The grammar! The verb usage! The punctuation (or lack thereof)! The fact that this person would type such a thing and post it on the Internet for the world to see, and obviously didn't proofread it at all!

It is appalling.

We were on LifeLock, but they ticked me off and I didn't renew. Sue thinks we should have some sort of ID Protection, so does anyone have any suggestions?

What the hell is going on here? The drug companies are now officially out of control.

Last week I heard an advertisement on the radio for a new drug, called Nuvigil. The ad talked about Nuvigil as a new solution for something called "Shift Work Sleep Disorder."

Apparently, people who work rotating shifts can have difficulty sleeping properly. *gasp* *shock* *surprise* Who knew?

I mean, come on. Seriously? A simple sleep phenomenon caused by disrupting normal sleep patterns is now a debilitating disease? Whose idea was THAT? Never mind, I've answered my own question. It was the geniuses at Cephalon.

I need to know one thing: Has the American populace (as a whole) finally become so fucking stupid as to fall for an advertisement telling them that a sleeping problem caused by not keeping a regular sleep schedule is a disease that only a drug can fix?

"We have met the enemy and he is us." --Pogo

Too good to be true?
http://FunnyOrDie.com/m/3r9l

Just came across this newspaper story online...

Police: Bad night for Toby Keith fan

Now this is your average run of the mill zonked out concert attender gone wild kind of story. We've all seen a hundred of them. (I will say that if you're already a Toby Keith fan, how much worse could a night get?)

The thing that caught my eye? The name: Forest V. Frankenstein, Jr.

First question in my head: "Does that really say 'Frankenstein'?" Yes it does.

Second question: "Junior? Someone already in possession of that name decided to inflict it on his own child?" Apparently.

Third question: "Hm. I wonder if the 'V' stands for 'Victor' or 'von'."

When I was a kid, we had a telephone in our house. One telephone. It was black, it had a dial, and it had a 6-foot cord, which meant that you couldn't move it very far from its hallowed position in the hallway. So it was kind of centrally located in our 3-bedroom, 1 bathroom house, which I'm guessing was about 1000 or maybe 1200 square feet in size.

We teenagers begged our parents to get a longer cord for the phone, so we could pull it into our bedrooms for a bit of privacy while we chatted for hours. "No way!", they said. "That costs money! And get off the phone!!". Sure enough, there was an extra charge for a longer cord, and the phone company made you pay for it every month. Back in those days, all telephones were leased, you know.

So, this morning I was sitting on the patio, reading the paper and having a Diet Coke. The phone rang, so I went into the kitchen and grabbed the cordless phone and brought it back out to the patio. I guess I could have gotten the phone from the garage, which was just as close, but it's an older, corded phone, and it doesn't talk as well as I'd like.

When I laid the phone down, I set it next to my cell phone, and the cell phone from my job, which I carry 24/7. And that made me think about phones, and the proliferation thereof.

In our house (three bedrooms, two baths, 1221 square feet), we have three cordless phones -- one in the kitchen, one in our bedroom, and one in the bedroom which is used as a "craft room" -- Ruby keeps her scrapbooking and other hobby stuff there, along with her computer.

In the third bedroom, which is where I have my computer (and where I am right now), there's a fax machine, on a separate phone line. I could make a call from the fax machine if I wanted to.

All this, plus Ruby's cell phone, means that we have a total of 8 phones, on 5 different lines. For two people. And of course we have Caller ID, Call Waiting, and a DSL line.

I don't think we're unusual in this. How many phones and phone lines do you have?

I've heard of deep fried turkey and twinkies and a bunch of other stuff.
Who's going to the Texas State Fair and try the deep fried beer?

Is there nothing beer can't do?

The rules: Quote a section of lyrics that uses the word "shoe." (Please limit quote to one verse or chorus.) Give credit to the title and the singer or songwriter.

(Heh. This should be good for a few pages worth of quotes.)

Put on my blue suede shoes
And I boarded the plane.
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain.

-"Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohn

Saturday, Aug 7th 6 AM
I packed on Friday evening, then went back to clinic and pulled an all-nighter trying to leave as little undone as possible, so I just now got home. I'm not as young as I used to be.

Showered, changed & finished packing the last few items.

Made it out to the Amarillo airport by about 7:45 for an 8:30 flight to DFW. Arrived in Detroit uneventfully around 3 (Eastern time). Went ahead & drove around the old neighborhood a bit. Drove by the library, the old house, the public elementary school where I went to kindergarten and Friday night fun gym, Mack Avenue (think Main Street), the Catholic school (1st-7th grade) & church, and the lakeside park that was my summer home growing up.

How drunk do you have to be, to try & punch out a police horse?

http://www.timesunion.com/local/arti...rse-630406.php

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100824/...il_eating_bugs

- Sue

Mmmmmmm. I never knew what a wonderful combination these make. Two different versions I highly recommend:

http://www.mms.com/us/about/products/pretzel/

And for a lighter version, here's a 90 calorie treat:

http://www.specialk.com/cereal-bars/chocalate-pretzel

Hmmm, I think I need to go buy stock in Mars & Kellogg

- Sue

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Just under the wire in Central Time! Hope your day was fun and memorable for all the right reasons!

- Sue

Check out the wall sculptures. What do you call them?

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It's so hot the alligators are moving to Chicago.